Now What? The Pain and the Promise
A year ago, ReignDown USA had a clear call and direction. We were called to "ring the bell" and call God's people together for a time of worship, prayer and repentance, seeking His face across this nation. We set out and watched as God moved mountains to make this happen. We knew what to do. And when asked, I knew how to define it, cast the vision, and share it. This call was my life! Then April 26th came and went. Here we are on the other side. Now what?
I have to be honest - I wasn't sure. Many people were looking to me for guidance and direction and I couldn’t give any. The only thing I did know was on the evening of April 26th God laid on my heart the urgency for the Church to "WAKE UP!" I heard, "My children cannot hear My call to repentance because they are asleep." Deep down, I knew we were not done. So ReignDown USA went forward sharing that message without any real clear direction - just the words and the scripture of Revelation 3:1-3.
As time passed, still with no clear direction, very little money coming in and the debt still looming, I began to feel the weight of it all. I felt as if I was paralyzed. I began to receive e-mails and words from a few people I considered close confidants telling me that ReignDown failed because of me and my disobedience...telling me to walk away from ReignDown...telling me it's over. I heard people speaking ill of ReignDown. That if it was truly from God, we would be financially secure.
When I read these e-mails and heard these words, it felt like a sword sliced right through me. My heart was shattered. I fell to my knees crying out to God, "Am I done? Am I to walk away so that Your Call can move forward? Please Lord, I do not want to make this into something You never intended. God, please...this is Yours! I need to hear clearly from You!" On that mid-October night, when I was ready to stop fighting, as I was curled up and crying, my husband came to me and said, "Shawn-Marie, you know deep in your heart that ReignDown is God's and He has called you to move forward. Before you walk away, pray and seek God for confirmation." Very wounded, I fell to my knees and began praying. I called up a trusted intercessor and asked for prayer. As I kept seeking God, I realized that I was not to react to my wounds but to truly seek God for His will and direction. I realized I was allowing Satan to push me down. But by the grace of God - before I hit bottom - God sent a confirmation my way.
Just before midnight, I received an e-mail from someone in California who was watching the rebroadcast of the April 26th ReignDown gathering on GodTV. She told me how it touched her life, that she fell to their knees in repentance. She said that the Holy Spirit was so evident, and she wanted to thank me for my obedience. Wow! I didn't know GodTV had planned to air the gathering again. Then God began to lead me to select Bible passages and confirmations from many intercessors with the same scripture verses and words of encouragement began to come my way. God not only sent all of this; He reignited the passion He had placed in me to see the Body of Christ unite in true repentance. He put a fresh fire of prayer in me. It was as if I could honestly feel this fire burning deep inside me. Not only did God confirm ReignDown USA is His and is still very much in His plan, He taught me something so valuable I can't help but praise Him for going through this season of waiting. He opened my eyes to true Christ-like love and forgiveness.
"Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us. Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others" (Colossians 3:12-13 NLT).
Here I was with what felt like multiple knives sticking out of my back, and people I loved and trusted only driving those knives deeper. I knew I was going to have to see these people. But how could I look them in the eye with such pain? The answer: Only through Christ who strengthens me. God led me to Colossians 3:12-13 to show me how I am to live and respond. And honestly, there is nothing more freeing than to be able to look in the eyes of the person who has so deeply hurt you and say to them, "I love you and I truly forgive you."
I don't know if I would have been able to do that before this lesson. In fact, I know I couldn't. I forgave people, but I still held on to it deep in my heart. But this time it was different. This time I took it to God in prayer. As I began to pray and speak out loud that forgiveness, it literally felt as if I was throwing up the bitterness, anger, and resentment - and then I was filled with love, peace, and forgiveness.
This pain, this hurt, this betrayal that I was feeling from fellow brothers and sisters in Christ wasn't a one-time thing that only happened to me. I'm sure there are many of us out there that have had this happen. And to that, from the bottom of my heart, I say: I am deeply sorry that this has happened to you. You are a special and beloved child of our Heavenly Father. I know God would not want you to be wounded - He would want you to live clothed in His love, goodness and mercy.
We, the Body, need to STOP attacking and tearing one another down. We have enough outside forces to fight without that. We, God's children, need to uplift one another in prayer, encourage each another, and help out wherever we can. As we clothe ourselves in that humility, mercy, kindness, gentleness, and patience, God can then truly use us for His purpose and plans.
"If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if His love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care - then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand" (Philippians 2:1-4, The Message)
Therefore, this is what God has been calling ReignDown USA to move out and do. We have been called to offer an "Evening of Blessing" for anyone in need. We still do not have much money coming in, and we do still have the debt, but we have committed to give our tithe, our time, and all we have to bless those in need. On November 21 in the Phoenix area we are inviting all churches to participate and come together to pray for those who are hurting, to help feed those who are hungry, to be a light in the midst of this dark economy. We'll post signs on the freeway simply saying, "NEED PRAYER?" with an arrow directing them to a parking lot where we will be there to pray for them. We will bag up non-perishable foods to help feed families that are sitting in the pews next to us, or for those out in the community who can't seem to make ends meet right now. We are going to pray over all of them - that God's blessings would pour down on their families, and that they would be released from the oppression of monetary, physical, and emotional woes.
We are also praying for churches across this nation each week. As we seek God and cry out for the church highlighted that week, we will note any scriptures or words we receive for them and at the end of the week we'll send those words on to the pastor of that church. That church will then be invited to join us in prayer for the next church. Eventually a church in New York will be praying for a church in Ohio, that will be praying for a church in Texas, that will be praying for a church in another state - and the list will grow and grow. (If you are feeling led to have your church prayed for, or you want to participate and pray for another please contact us at info@reigndownusa.com or 1-800-735-6917).
Next, we are calling out for people to make a commitment to living a life of repentance. This means that you are committed to remaining on your face before God, allowing Him to show you where you need to repent and giving Him reign over your life. We are also asking churches to be Mark 1:15 churches. This means that they are committed to teach repentance from the pulpit, that they are teaching their congregation what it means to truly repent and encouraging them to live a life of repentance, as well as committing to having a foundation of prayer and uplifting the Body of Christ - working towards unifying the Body of Christ. As churches make this commitment, we'll post their church on our website so people looking for a repentance-teaching church can easily find one near them.
As this grows, we will gather these churches and their members and hold ReignDown USA gatherings of worship, prayer, and repentance in their cities. We will be crying out for those in the Body that are represented, as well as those who are not. We will cry out for the city and beg God's mercy to Reign once again. This will eventually culminate in another nationwide gathering of worship, prayer, and repentance that will take place in 2012.
Now more than ever, we as Christians need to take a stand, repent for our silence and how we have treated one another. We need to come together, uplift one another in prayer and not be so worried about who got where first. We need to be the voice for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We need to fall face down and allow God's glory to shine! I pray you will join us...
God's Best,
Shawn-Marie
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